July 11th, 2003
Hell-o. This seems like a tough crowd, but I thought I'd try my creative edge here. ; ) I haven't really been writing poetry that long, but I believe it's one of those things that will improve with practice (if you aren't just naturally talented with it, that is). I hope I do not disappoint. =)
Powder your face, rouge your lips,
and put on your prettiest dress
Be sure your napkin is on your lap,
so there won't be any mess
"How do you do?" "I'm fabulous, you?"
are phrases of politeness
Keep your gloves away from the sanguine tea,
lest it should stain their whiteness
I'm afraid that I've run out of sugar
I was in a rush
So I used the next best ingredient,
but I'm keeping it hush-hush
I'll give you a hint, it's red and it's sweet
It comes not from red grapes, nor from a beet
Still, I find it rather neat...
...even if it came from meat
Red tea and cake do happy girls make
Cake and red tea, happy are we
Retch, retch! Our tummies hurt so!
Blood tea and cakes are a bad way to go
I'm not sure what inspired this...maybe just the thrill of taking something seemingly innocent (like, say, a tea party) and twisting it up so it's almost sick.
Paper-thin Boy & Cemetary Darling
Dark cloudy skies in his eyes
and a smile that lights up his face
A frame thin as air, long raven hair
Great care with every embrace
A kind word a day, he knows just what to say
to leave his roses at her door
She's somber-sweet with each heartbeat
a cemet'ry darling, galore
Footsteps in the night, shadows in the light
Silhouettes from an eerie moon glow
The sound of their feet up and down the street
they talk of things only they know
When I came into view, in front of these two
They stopped for a moment to gaze
She looked up at him, and he took her small hand
then they walked back into the haze
I wrote this about my boy-love and I from a third-person point of view. =)
The site's been acting weird, so I can't really say whether or not it will show up. Last time I checked it was working, though.
Current Mood: cheerful
Current Music: "Dear Prudence" - Siouxsie & the Banshees
You are ohsogoth, but I must say that I heart your eye makeup. It is super. I enjoyed the first poem; it was rather amusing. However, the little rhyme about your boy-love did not do it for me. Its sweet, but in a Hallmark-greeting-card sort of way. Urgh.
You seem to have potential. try your hand at some free verse or another style of poem. I'd like to read what you come up with.
so for now, Yes.
Huzzah. =P I like free verse, but somehow it always feels too easy. That, and I've sort of been turned off to it seeing how many people just pull random nonsense out of their arses, put it together into a nonsensical puddle of blah, and call it poetry. Perhaps you'll be reading some free verse from me, though. We'll see. ; )
I have faith that you will write perfectly lovely nonsensical puddles of blah! :) Even your of that expression ("nonsensical puddle of blah") was poetic! Please excuse me; I am hyper!
Hehe, I was puzzling over which to use..."me" would've been grammatically correct, but "I" just sounded better. =P
i know what you mean
and yeah do free verse!